Teaching with Empathy: My opinion

Earlier today I was conversing with a friend about his secondary education. He explained that during his JSS2, he once came to school late and was asked to close up a deep pit with his fellow latecomers after which they were compelled to sign an undertaken that if they ever came late to school again they would be expelled.

His story reminded me of a classmate I had back in primary school who was usually flogged everyday for coming late and always sleeping in class, one day while we were playing we asked her why she always comes late to class, she childishly explained that she had to fetch water with gallons very early in the morning amidst other chores she playfully added that we were over-pampered and incapable of doing all the work she does( she was a househelp). Being kids, we didn’t really understand.

These scenarios prompted this write up.

Times and again children are punished for failing exams and other “crimes” without anyone trying to find out what is really going on with the child.
As an advocate of punctuality and good behavior, I fully understand the importance of instilling these habits at a tender age. However, the fact remains that some of these children are not directly responsible for the crimes they are being punished for.
It could be from parents/guardians financial or it could be anything. The reason can only be found out by asking questions instead of going ahead to flog the “demons” out of them (sometimes even pouring out personal frustrations on the child). During the course of interrogation, you might find out very disturbing truths.
The child that is being punished in school may be facing domestic abuse or various forms of violence at home and probably sees school as their “safe haven”. Simply paying attention to him/her and finding out exactly why he/she isn’t meeting up may go a long way in saving the child.
The excessive undeserved punishment metted out on kids is probably the reason a lot of Nigerians are angry and defensive all the time.
In more organized countries, schools sometimes summon parents and guardians to report children and find out what is going on with them and why they have “misbehaved”.


It is about time schools, ministries of education adopted the same method; while also prioritizing the importance of employing teachers that managing children with empathy and not just anyone with academic qualifications or setting up avenues to train teachers on the importance of empathizing with children.
This would go a long way in developing a child’s empathy and their mental health generally.

From a confused “feminist”

Honestly I don’t understand feminism of today.
I used to think feminists advocate for political, economic and social equality of both sexes.( For instance, females being allowed to go to school, study whatever course they want and are qualified to study, being employed by industries based on their competence rather than their gender, getting to play leadership roles as long as they are fit for it, speaking against female genital mutilation, encouraging females to fend for themselves and not solely depend on their husbands down to as little as preaching taking their guys on dates or proposing splitting of bills etc). I am the kind of person that would stand up for anyone irrespective of gender if I notice you have been standing for long.

I believe in sharing activities based on strength and health, you may say guys are naturally stronger, I won’t disagree, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t females who are stronger than males or that males can’t get tired, so why not share the work in a way that no one would be more fatigued than the other? That aside, You would never hear a vast majority of today’s “feminists” clamouring for any of these, you’d only see them appearing where men are shamed or where it only fully benefits females. They’d readily jump on boats shaming/bullying their fellow females for having opinions or for speaking up against male oppression/injustice.

We need to learn to differentiate between opportunism, toxic feminism, mere stupidity from “regular” feminism.
If being a feminist is turning you to a bully, stopping you from being a “meninist” or a “humanist” then you should really have a rethink.

Tuesday Afternoon Rants

Last night and this morning we have been going to and fro over a couple that broke up two months ago. While the girl was acting all matured about it, the guy was busy dropping childish, unnecessary comments below every post concerning her. She kept calm about everything until a blog carried her matter and twitter-ng ended up blowing everything out of proportion.

While going through the comments on this matter, I picked up a lot. 1)The world pretends to care about you just to be up-to-date on what is happening in your life, deep down they don’t really care about you or your mental health. They can go as far as switching sides just to ensure they gain the engagement which is majorly what they are after. Hence the importance of keeping your life private, they are not happy for you and they’d gloat when things don’t work out.

2) People who are in worse situation will dish out advice and act like they are professional in that area, when in reality they can’t even handle their own difficulties. Everyone seems to be experts in other people’s matters. What about removing the log in your eye first?

3) In all you do, make sure your competition is yourself, strive to be better than who you were yesterday, don’t envy people, don’t envy friends, influencers, or all those virtual role models, sometimes they don’t all always have it all together. Ask yourself when you post about your life, do you post your losses? Point remains we don’t have it all together, so focus mainly on yourself and stop putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.

4) Anyone can break your trust. Those people you can do anything for can go any lenght just to spite you, some will use your past against you. In all your dealing with people keep this in mind

In conclusion, I hope both parties heal and grow up.

Question for the timeline.

Today, I’ll talk about a woman I met few days ago, she told us how she got a nice job, but had to forward it to her late husband because he was the man of the house.
She went on to become a full time housewife ( certified Oriaku). Fast forward 3years into their marriage,her husband, who had used his mother as his next of kin and who also didn’t make a will, passed on, leaving her with 3 kids. As we see in Nigerian movies, mother-in- law threw them out and took over everything.
Aunty had to start life afresh, going into petty trading to feed and clothe her children.
Now the questions are:
At what point in one’s life should they write a will?
Is it advisable for a woman to give up her job for her husband?

Do Not Stop!!!

Sometimes you work but it does not seem enough
Sometimes you read but it all seems so hard
Your results dont match your efforts
You desire to pack up your books and throw them hard against the wall
You wonder endlessly why you chose this seemingly difficult path

I am going to say this to you
Dont stop working, dont stop fighting, dont stop sweating
No path is easy
All roads that lead to success are all rocky hard at one point or the other, could be in the beginning, in the middle or at the end
Keep pushing, the path you have chosen is not a mistake

One day, you are really going to look back and smile at all you have accomplished
You are going to be proud of whom you’ve become
So dont ever stop working.

-Chinie-

This is dedicated to all students especially Medical Students in Nigeria.

Dont stop fighting.

A piece for all those who are on the verge of committing suicide. I call it ‘THE NOTE WITHOUT A TITLE’

Before you pull that trigger,
Before you drink that poison,
Before you trip that stool,
Before you make that final move that ends your life,
Just stop for a minute ……….

Think about your wife/husband/that person you have promised to spend your life with, so you just wanna leave them? Is this the happiness you promised them? They left you? Is that why you want to kill yourself?

OKAY!! Think about your friends, the ones you drink with, the ones you game with, shop with, the ones you attend classes with. Ever imagined what their lives would be without you? Ever considered how terrified they would be and how guilty they would feel?
But you don’t have friends!!

You do have parents right? They have struggled to raise you into who you’ve become, they didn’t buy that outfit they liked because you needed new school shoes. Is this how you wanna pay them back? You wanna make them objects of ridicule?
Did you ever think about that priceless smile they have on when you come around, when you buy them gifts? You suddenly want to wipe off that smile off their faces, do they really deserve that.
They left you alone?
What about your siblings, how would they live without you? They will be fine? Then why don’t believe you can be fine too?

You probably think what you are going through is unimaginable, and no one understands. Believe me, people have experienced what ever it is you are experiencing now and even worse. At the end of the day, they got better and stronger. Whatever you think you are going through will pass, i promise. Trust me on this one, it is just a matter of time.

You matter to the world,
You are needed,
That random guy you gave up your seat for in the bank needs you, that simple act of kindness you showed the old lady at the mall probably meant the world to her, she probably even blessed you, so you just want to miss that, you just want take you away from the world?

Your children/unborn children need you to encourage them to become great people, the fathers of great men probably never expected their children would become great someday, your children may change the world, do you want to take that away from the world?

If you are still not convinced,
Please just stay alive for me
I need you.

-A-C-C-E-

Depression is real.

You can get help, and you can be helped

WHY!! WHY NOT!!!

Ever looked up in the sky and wondered what is hidden beneath?
Ever wondered why the sky is blue?
Why not pink, why not purple?

Ever looked at the stars and imagine what happens up there?
Are there aliens that live there?
Do they have families and children with teddies?
Do they have dogs and ants?
Or are they just tiny sparkly lights?

Why are we on Earth?
Why not Mars, or Jupiter?
Why is there more water than land?

Why do fishes live in water, birds on trees?
Why are elephants big and why do lions roar?
Why does nought live in fire?
Do trees feel pain when we pluck their leaves?
Why are some flowers beautiful and others are not?

Why do we walk about, why aren’t we fixed to the ground?
Why do we have to grow up?
We forever could remain children, or be born as adults.
Why are some rich and others poor?
Why do we fall sick?

Out, under the stars, I sit, asking these questions
These questions to which I have got no answers to
Hoping I’ll someday find answers written on the sky.

-Chinie-

It’s Valentine’s Day

It’s 14th February, a day dedicated to commemorate the Death of St. Valentine.

Everywhere aroud the world, people share gifts, flowers just to celebrate this saint, but who exactly is this saint and why is he celebrated?

A myth explains that St. Valentine was a priest around 270 A.D. who secretly married young Couples against the rules of the then Emperor who ruled Rome, Claudius II.

Claudius believed that young men were better soldiers if they were not married, and subsequently outlawed marriage.

When St Valentine was found out, he was imprisoned and was later put to death.

There are still several other myths about St. Valentine but I would not go into all that.

Today is a day to celebrate Love. So let’s all show love to those that deserve it, and by that I mean everyone.

Let’s impact in the life of everyone around us, so as we are getting gifts for our family and loved ones, we should remember all those who have not got families, or loved ones-the beggars on the streets, the Motherless, the destitutes- whatever form of love we show them today will go a long way.

Spread love everywhere you go.

Happy Valentine’s day.

JAC declare UNN matriculation as illegal

The Joint Action Committee (JAC) of Nigerian universities have stated that the 44th Matriculation of University of Nigeria Nsukka which held yesterday saturday 10th February, was unlawful.

For the past two months, SSANU, NATS AND NASU that all make up JAC have been on strike over non payment of allowances, it is alleged that UNN disregarded this and engaged the graduates and members of the NYSC to perform the activities of the Non academic staff all for the Matriculation to hold.

Despite haVIng a closed door meeting that lasted over 5 hours with the school management, the matriculation held.

It was reported that they members of JAC proceeded on a peaceful support to publicise their grievances, but where teargased by the police.

According to Vanguard, the the divisional police officer Nsukka urban division Badamasi Musa did everything humanly possible to calm down the situation but all to no avail.

No one casualties were recorded in the course of the protest.

Read more at: https://www.vanguardngr.com/2018/02/unns-ssanu-nats-nasu-protest-say-44th-matriculation-illegal/

Drop your comments below.

Mystery money-eating snake still trending

Some days ago, news hit the media that a snake mysteriously got into a vault in a JAMB office at Markurdi and somehow managed to swallow the sum of 36 million naira.

One of the sale clerks at the office stated that her househelp and another clerk were responsible for the stolen money. She claimed the help confessed they ‘spiritually’ used the snake to get into the office.

Nigerians including various celebrities have reacted to the claims in different ways. A lot believe Nigeria is gradually turning to a joke.

I never knew snakes fed on paper.

Share your views below……